Climbing the Rope Ladder

I was worried during the Covid19 lockdown stages about the following three things;

  1. How would my little one cope with her development despite not going to nursery and missing all of her friends?
  2. How would we get the eldest to do her school work as she is one who loves the outdoors but dislikes studying?
  3. How would I manage all of this and deliver successfully at work at the same time?

I had nothing to worry about! The little one learned so much good from her older sister and they formed a much stronger bond to each other. She also learned some bad as well and now when she’s tired, she tells me that I am ‘annoying!’. It’s a big word for a three year old, although not a word of choice…

Well, we had many challenges with school work, we tried bribing, we tried online computer maths games, we tried scolding but we realised the only thing that worked was to take her out to the park and exhaust her! If I didn’t have an early meeting, the first thing would be on the bikes or out for a quick run around the park. Sometimes the work had a 30 minute time estimate and she could complain for 25 mins, and then complete it in 5 mins! Teachers definitely know what they are talking about! Despite the little one finding it hard to keep up with her sister’s energetic ways, she carried on following her and climbing that rope ladder until she got there. Then, we could do maths, and we could do English, and we could do the reading that the teacher instructed! It also meant thinking away from school being 9-3 and using the times that we could to get the work completed.

I managed all of this! My eldest has done her school work and now we are into the holidays with me throwing random multiplication tables/ divisions at her and her answering quite swiftly! She has managed to teach herself how to inline skate with a lot of bruises along the way. We have lots of artwork that is saved in bursting folders that we can look back on and enjoy in the future.

Work was delivered too and I think being away from the office really gave me diversity of thought! It meant that I worked around the day quite successfully, having a fantastic working buddy that we called each other to share our tips and ways to break up the days during the lock down and being able to collaborate on work really helped! I would awake before the girls and get reports done, I would then put the girls to bed (rather late! It has felt like one extended holiday!) and get some emails done or finalise a presentation. It also gave me some great memories whilst doing a very formal presentation and I had to stop it for 5 minutes because the girls had gone into the garden and hosed each other down whilst the weather was cold! My colleagues saw two sopping happy children- I was presenting whilst standing in the kitchen and I had forgotten to turn my webcam off!

Despite all of the challenges, we can all climb the rope ladder in a different way to succeed at our work output. Having different ways of thinking helps us get there! My little one tried to follow my eldest in the same way that she had tried to climb the rope ladder, but she couldn’t, and her little mind taught her that there were some narrower rope differences that she could use to get there. And she did… just my motherly instinct wouldn’t let her go as high as I knew the drop would be much further!

Sunday Morning Dreaming

I was woken up at 04:00 AM by my little 3 year old and managed to get her back to sleep. I soon followed… and I had a very strange dream! I dreamt that I was back at university studying and doing this very stylish internship that required us to write up business analysis documents and publish them online. It was very freeing as there was no requirement for someone looking over your work- we were all collaborating at the same level! I then graduated in my dream, worked for a year and decided I would take a gap year to travel. All of this by 06:00 AM! How? Where were my kids? Is this the subconscious of working life not happening that it reminds me on a Sunday morning how much I enjoy teamwork and collaboration?

Or is it an article that I read on LinkedIn last night about women in the legal profession that may be impacted by the conflict of longer Court hours and balancing childcare requirements that I wanted to see what it would be like without children?

I am more efficient, excellent at prioritising. I look around the house and I feel like I am spending more time cleaning and cooking but I managed to do all of this whilst I was working anyway so there has to be something said about efficiency and parenthood!

Asda – Wearing a Face-mask

Today was the first day that face masks were mandatory in the supermarkets in England. I wore one but my children didn’t. It was a strange feeling and I think I shouted at the Customer Services colleague as I thought he couldn’t hear me through the mask… queue grandma’s ensuring the other person on an international phone call could hear them…Anyway, I’m sure the Asda staff are used to it…

Just thinking about something at work…? How many times have you felt that the other person didn’t understand you so you got louder and louder in a meeting not realising the barrier (facemask?!) was your ability to accept a different point of view?

I digress… I haven’t been to Asda since before the lock-down choosing the speed that Aldi cashiers progress the shopping but I needed a few non-food items and I was pleased to see that there was no queue at the till and we got our shopping done quickly.

The kids were not impressed that we had to go grocery shopping as we barely go with them nowadays but they are now bribed with cherries, cucumbers and carrots. And if the sunshines this afternoon, a game of tennis in their favourite park!

Getting into a Routine: Chore or Necessary?

It’s been a very short amount of time of me being off of work, but my children have quickly adapted to a new routine. We have been visiting one park almost every day (except for the STOP day!) to play tennis, head to the pond to feed the ducks, and then go for a walk around the park until we find the picnic spot. Today, I suggested going to another park, ‘NO, we NEED to play Tennis!’, ‘We NEED to feed the ducks’…

So I still decided to break up the routine and pick another park- I’m a disruptor after all! We didn’t play tennis, but we really enjoyed ourselves and had a great time, running, rolling in the grass and having a kick around with a volleyball! Lucky, I am a morning person so we managed to enjoy the nice weather before it started raining! They loved it, and my eldest also agreed it was a great idea.

Now, one of the things we end up doing at work is sticking to the same routine and not challenging the meetings in the standard diary, the objectives and the way we do things. The morning starts off the same way; head into work, visit the kitchen for a quick coffee, take it back to your desk and start emails at exactly 08:00 AM so we don’t miss our global colleagues in time zones that are almost ending their working day. How do we foster creativity if we around the same routine day in and day out? The culture may be one of challenge encouraged, but if we don’t see the positive change ourselves because we feel like ‘If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!’, then we resort to normal routine and potentially not gain the advantage of entrepreneurial thinking. What are your thoughts in your workplace about how you break up the routine for some creativity?

That Guilty Feeling: Take a Stop day

That Guilty Feeling: Take a Stop Day

As a working mum, you feel the guilt of not being around your children. Certainly, when I had my eldest and returned to work after 5 months, I got the guilt mum thrown at me from colleagues; both male and female. ‘How can you leave your baby at 5 months?’, ‘How can you breastfeed whilst working?’, ‘Don’t you miss your baby?’ and I didn’t interact with it. I just stopped talking about my little one completely until I was working with a colleague for a year and he said ‘I didn’t even know you had a child, you don’t spend all hours talking about her like the other mums do’. Wow, you can’t win right?

I was fortunate that work was kind and gave me access to a breastfeeding facility, and I could work remotely when I needed to and I could work flexitime to fit in with my daughter. It was how I wanted, actually, how I needed it to be as the work gave me drive to stop obsessing over every little thing my little one did. I had a meaty project and inspiring coaches to help me feel challenged, and I thrived!

Back to today, the 6th day of being at home with the children. Yes, tired because we have done so many things in this past 6 days! However, we have had a stop day today as I’m feeling the guilt of not working, not heading to my desk and logging on in the morning, not joining the conference calls and contributing to professional life. I’m glad I took a stop day and think the girls needed it too.

I’ve cleaned up the kitchen, tidied the toys up in the garden and switched on my laptop. Aptly, my eldest has just said ‘Can I have a kitkat?’ Actually, surprisingly, at 18:00 of an evening, I have said Yes! Thank God for Stop days! I think allowing yourself to have these both at home and in the workplace is vital to pause, reflect, work on the strategy and be true to your purpose.

Taking the Plunge- A Career Driven Moment

I’ve always been ambitious. Not in the ruthless way that you see in Hollywood’s depiction of corporate life! Career driven and ambitious, nonetheless! I have decided to take a career break to spend time with my two lovely daughters. Covid-19 working from home meant that I was torn between many things, and primarily my children. I enjoyed spending time with them and having lunches with them, I enjoyed working on my laptop whilst they played in the amazing sunshine that we have been so fortunate to have. However, I also felt challenged when they needed my attention, when school work started to slip due to regular meetings in the diary and we had to catch up at weekends, when they really wanted to go on the daily allocation of exercise a day and would ask me to go to a family walk and I knew I had a meeting in 30 minutes. I was agile and managed so much by working early mornings before they woke up and late evenings, but I realised that the ‘me’ they were getting was so limited and would one day not be a positive experience anymore. So I took the plunge, I decided to pause my career and enjoy the time with my girls. This is my blog to share these moments with all of you. Thanks for reading!